Live your life seriously, go where you want to go, meet the people you want to see.
in life, many people like to talk about "rare confusion" and "it is a blessing to suffer losses". When they encounter some grievances, they can bear it even if they suffer a little bitterness, and a smile will pass.
but in fact, if you want to live comfortably in this life, you need a three-point bottom line, a five-point principle, and a little "selfishness".
Don't care too much
once upon a time, there was a little famous poet who was depressed all day long because some of his poems were not recognized by the public.
later, he went to the Zen monastery and complained to his Zen master friends.
after listening to his bitter water, the Zen master smiled, pointed to a plant outside the window and said, "look, what kind of flower is that?"
the poet looked at the plant and said, "Night incense."
the Zen master asked, "do you know why it is called night incense?"
the poet said, "because it is only open at night."
the Zen master asked, "do you know why nocturnal incense does not blossom during the day but at night?"
the poet shook his head.
the Zen master smiled and said:
many friends must have experienced the troubles of poets.
always ask yourself by the expectations of others, judge yourself by the evaluation of others, and even prefer to be wronged to do something unhappy in order to maintain a perfect image in the eyes of others.
but it is important to please yourself.
as Bai Yansong wrote in his book: "you live for yourself, and not many people can keep you in mind."
Why define yourself by other people's comments?
We live not to please others, but to live our own happiness.
the rest of life is not long, and calmly and magnanimously focus on their own life, bravely be themselves, worry-free, fearless, fearless.
Don't be too tolerant
have you ever had such an experience:
at work, I couldn't refuse a colleague's request for help. as a result, I made a small mistake and was scolded by my boss.
when traveling abroad, I can't refuse the purchasing agent's request from my relatives and friends. I don't talk about the consignment with my money, and I am complained that the price is not favorable enough.
when I went to the mall, I couldn't refuse the enthusiastic promotion of the shopping guide, so I spent a lot of money on a bunch of useless things.
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many troubles in life are the sequelae of our inability to refuse others.
the famous painter Qi Baishi once had this feeling.
after Mr. Qi Baishi became famous, there was an endless stream of friends coming to ask for paintings.
at first, he dared not refuse anyone, but he only promised one by one, but he did not expect that his friends had intensified their efforts and asked for more and more paintings.
in order to meet the requests of his friends, Mr. Qi Baishi had to work overtime to paint. Unexpectedly, he exhausted himself and became seriously ill.
after recovering from his illness, Mr. Qi Baishi resolutely posted a clearly marked price in the living room, telling him:
selling paintings regardless of friendship, if a gentleman is ashamed, please find Runge to pay for it.
Flowers plus insects and birds, 10 yuan for each plus rattan and bee, 20 yuan for each;
paintings that have gone out should not be used to repair worms.
paintings that have gone out should not be added later.
in this way, Mr. Qi Baishi's friends realized that they had reined in their unreasonable demands, and no one wanted to cut him off.
as the saying goes, the good man is deceived and the horse good is ridden.
not all people in this world will return the favor for our kindness.
once our kindness loses its edge and bottom line, it becomes cowardly and soft in the eyes of some people.
I agree with Bi Shumin's sentence:
"Life is not easy. Many times, you give up your precious time and are squeezed by those who take advantage of your kindness."
Don't live to be a worthless old man. You should know how to refuse reasonably, don't give in randomly, and don't always agree to what others want.
show your bottom line and principles, be "selfish" and cherish your efforts.
Don't be too magnanimous
many people have used this sentence to encourage themselves: "be grateful to those who have hurt you, they have made you strong."
but harm is harm, malice is malice, a person who is really good to you, will only want to encourage you, support you, how will hit you, slander you?
I appreciate Zhang Shaohan's domineering reply in "complaining meeting":
"without these injuries, I would be stronger. Because I am not only born inspirational, I am also born to be strong.
I don't appreciate the people who hurt me, they just remind me not to be that person. "
this is true. What really makes you grow is not the person who has hurt you, but your reflection after the injury.
what you have to thank is yourself who has survived the darkness and endured pain.
if it hurts too much, don't force yourself to let it go. If you're too tired, don't force yourself to forgive.
you don't have to treat malice as goodness and harm as sharpening. Your tolerance and kindness should be left to people who deserve it.
Love yourself is the beginning of a happy life
there is such a fable: there was once a miserable man who thought his life was veryUnfortunately, in order to extricate himself from suffering, he decided to go on a pilgrimage.
after a long journey, he finally met the gods in the temple.
he asked: almighty God, excuse me, how can I break free from the sea of suffering and find that unique happiness?
the spirit pointed to the holy river in front of the temple and said, "my child, there are people in the river who want to cross you."
the man came to the river and looked at it for a long time in the crystal clear water. He saw nothing but himself.
he returned to the temple and asked again, Almighty God, there is no one else in the river but myself.
the gods smiled:
my child, what you see is your god.
you should wash his face every day and make him smile piously, whether in prosperity or adversity.
you should wait on his body every day to keep him healthy and clean, rich or poor.
you should talk to his soul every day and give him a safe home, whether young or old.
you should embrace his dream every day and let him take solid steps, whether yesterday or today.
one day, we will understand that the only way to get rid of unsatisfactory life is to love yourself. In this world, only yourself can save you.
Don't embarrass yourself, don't snub yourself, pay more attention to your emotions, get along with people who are comfortable with you, and make yourself comfortable.
live your life seriously, go where you want to go, meet the people you want to see.
the joy of the world is waiting for you.
one book a week, no matter how busy it is, don't forget to recharge it.
Wen Qian, professional teacher of university broadcast host, Putonghua tester, member of Hubei recitation artists Association.