May you have something to do, be loved and look forward to in the long rest of your life.
some people say that when people reach a certain age, they must throw away four things: people who don't love you, meaningless wine bureaus, contempt for your relatives, and false friends.
between the square inches of others, the mountains and seas weigh tens of thousands. If people are too close to each other, they may not be able to reap the truth.
Life is like a ruler, if you lose your measured feelings, you can only take a step back before you can have a broad future.
make friends and keep a sense of distance
A young monk once asked the master, "Master, how do you understand the way friends get along?"
Master pointed to the big tree in the courtyard and asked, "do you see this tree?"
the little monk nodded.
Master said meaningfully:
"when it is a seed, water it and fertilize it; when its seedlings grow up, it should be pruned and disinfested in time."
make friends, just like planting trees, you get to know each other at the beginning and get closer to each other, but once the vines are entangled and the feelings are excessive, you must learn to dilute your enthusiasm and stretch the distance, otherwise your relationship will slowly wither. "
people get along with others, no matter how deep their feelings are, they should leave room for each other, and no matter how good the relationship is, don't be too enthusiastic.
if there is no distinction between you and me, there will be cracks in the slightest discord, and resentment will be deeper than love;
if money is vague and always borrows but never pays back, interests will always dilute friendship;
even if you are brotherly, a joke that blurts out can touch each other's bottom line.
there is nothing in this world that feels the same way, nor is there anything that is different from each other.
No matter how close friends are, they can't lose their sense of division. Getting along with each other is the most basic self-cultivation.
keep in touch with each other, do not talk deeply, and do not overestimate your position in the hearts of others. Only in this way can the relationship be more long-term.
alienate relatives and have a clear sense of boundaries
Chen Ming once told the story of his father in Qifa Shuo.
his father was born and raised in the countryside. later, through his own efforts, he moved to the city, became a policeman and had a stable income.
when relatives saw that he was living a good life, they came to his door for help, some asked him to arrange a job, some asked him to introduce someone, and some always asked him for money to build a house.
Chen Ming's father couldn't help it any longer, and finally got mad: "Don't recognize me as a relative!"
in the years that followed, those relatives moved less and their feelings became deeper than before.
living in a poor and busy city, no one asks, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains.
as the saying goes, brothers should settle accounts clearly. no matter how deep their feelings are, they can't blindly help and take their own efforts for granted.
especially those relatives who like to kidnap morally in the name of kinship will not only make you lose your armor, but also increase your weakness.
Doumien, bear the feud.
True relatives don't necessarily depend on blood relationship, but on whether they really treat you.
sometimes, when you get close to your relatives, there will be more grievances; if you go far away from your relatives, your relationship will fade away.
therefore, it is the greatest respect for each other to stay away from the private affairs of relatives and help them in principle.
be alone with your lover and build comfort
in the family life documentary four Springs, the image slowly carves out the gentle changes of a happy family over the past two decades, as well as the warm daily life of the director's parents.
this couple, who have been together for many years, are ordinary, but touching.
they will walk together and walk slowly along the banks of time; they will grow flowers and recommend them together to accompany them from budding to blooming.
but more often, they are busy with each other and do not interfere with each other.
in the room, mother is dancing with fans and father is pulling his favorite erhu.
as night falls, mother fiddles with housework and father studies music.
they are independent of each other, but they look as if they were still in the good old days.
in the eyes of the famous singer and actor Liu Ruoying, the best state between husband and wife is "alone in the arms of a lover."
in their home, the kitchen and dining room are the space where they live together, and the study at both ends is where they put their souls.
when eating, they are close partners; other times, they are independent life partners.
they have different jobs and hobbies, but enjoy themselves.
A good couple, like them, should be intimate in heart and independent in life.
when the moon is full, it loses, and when the water is full, it overflows. there should be room for everything, and so is the relationship.
True love is not giving without reservation, but the continuous growth of the individual and the mutual support of the spirit.
drink no more than six points drunk, eat no more than seven points full, love a person not more than eight points.
if you love too much, it is easy to lose yourself and bind others. Just the right love, there will be a long stream of romance.
in marriage, leave two points of space for yourself so that you don't lose yourself when you love others and don't lose your life when no one loves you.
getting too close is a disaster.Difficult
Cai Kangyong is known as the "father of high EQ", and everyone who has come into contact with him feels like a spring breeze.
and his way of getting along is not overly enthusiastic, not ingratiating, and knowing how to maintain a sense of boundaries with others.
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people who have wisdom in dealing with the world know that happiness lies in their palms, not in their relationships with others.
get along with friends, not flattering, not overestimating; with relatives, not demanding, not cowardly; with loved ones, do not rely on, do not get lost.
it is a kind of accomplishment to lead a sincere and simple life.
when people get along with others, the most comfortable relationship is that when you are free, I will come to you; if you are busy, I will not disturb you; when you come, I will welcome the wind and rain; when you are gone, I will send you away.
like two hedgehogs who report to keep warm in the cold winter, they snuggle up to each other and have a fingertip distance, warm and comfortable.
A clear song is full of wine, where do we not meet in life?
May you have something to do, be loved and look forward to for the rest of your long life.
one book a week, no matter how busy it is, don't forget to recharge it.
Zhou Zhou Yang.