Things come to adapt, the future is not welcome, the present is not miscellaneous, the past is not in love.
I was unprepared for the meeting one morning. I was asked by the leader about the key question of interviewing an important person, but failed to answer it.
although the leaders and colleagues didn't say anything, I seemed to detect a lot of hidden meaning from their eyes and movements.
and then unwittingly associate with yourself.
"the leader frowned and didn't have any thoughts about me, did he?"
with all kinds of thoughts and emotions, I stayed up until I got off work.
when I got home, I lay in bed. I had turned off the lights and was ready to go to bed, but when I thought of the performance at today's meeting and the interview I had to face tomorrow, I suddenly became very anxious.
tossing and turning, I couldn't sleep at 2 o'clock in the morning.
the interview the next day became a failure in my career as a journalist.
after this extreme torment and self-remorse, I have been in a state of sub-health for a long time.
in poor health and anxiety, he fell into a state of self-deprecation for a long time.
I know that if it goes on like this, it will develop to a more serious stage, such as depression, fear of socialization, etc.
later, by reading relevant books, I understand that this is a typical mental internal friction.
it will not only drain your energy, reduce your action power and make you feel exhausted, but also reduce your satisfaction and happiness with your life, and even affect your perception of your own sense of meaning.
recently I saw a story in a book called "the strange illness of a headmaster".
the headmaster fell into a serious state of mental internal friction.
he was cool-headed and adaptable, but one day he suddenly fell ill.
the whole person is dizzy, only lying down will feel better.
whenever he tries to sit up, his dizziness gets worse and even vomits.
it turned out that out of face, he promised to guarantee a loan to his friend.
but after the guarantee, the headmaster began to repent:
the loan is so large that I have been hesitant, but I can't refuse him because he is my good friend.
but what if he can't afford the money?
what about all my savings! What about my house?! Isn't it all going to come to nothing?
in the midst of uneasy anxiety, the headmaster was ill in bed.
doctors are at a loss when they go to the hospital.
went to work lively the next day.
none of the things he worried about happened, but there was a big play in his heart.
in fact, in many cases, a person's poor health is likely to be related to excessive thinking.
like the protagonist of "the Man in the condom", he always thinks that life will go wrong.
so when he goes out, even on a sunny day, he will bring rain gear, shoe covers and a warm coat.
he often lives in his imaginary worries and finally dies in his worries.
people, never let your heart get sick.
someone on Zhihu asked:
what is the highest state of health preservation?
the most popular answer is: nourish the heart.
Modern people have a variety of ways to keep in good health, but they forget that the real way to keep in good health lies in preserving the mind.
people with less psychological internal friction will find life more and more relaxed.
people with large psychological internal friction will feel that life is becoming more and more painful.
all health care is futile if you don't stop internal friction.
read a story.
A mother has been a stay-at-home mother taking care of her three children, but she always says she is nothing:
"I always yell at my children. I'm the worst mother. I don't deserve to have children!"
she often accompanies her children to play football, play games and do their homework.
she is a good cook and is very organized in doing housework.
but she is sensitive, self-abased, pessimistic and hard on herself.
long-term self-denial made her, who was originally healthy, have depressive symptoms.
I have to say that people who have too much internal friction live too hard.
I once saw a self-report from a netizen on Zhihu, saying that she accidentally added to the Wechat of an older generation whom she admired very much.
at first they chatted happily, but suddenly they stopped answering her messages.
she began to wonder if she had said something wrong.
or is it too boring to talk to her, so the seniors don't want to talk to her anymore?
but more than an hour later, she received a Wechat from her seniors:
"Sorry, my phone just died."
Yang Jiang once said: "We were so looking forward to the recognition of the outside world that we finally knew that the world was our own and had nothing to do with others."
the older you get, the more you understand that it is not the outside world or others who have been struggling with yourself, but the person with high sensitivity, low self-esteem and perfectionism.
as Wang Mingyang saidHe said, "it is easier to break a thief in the mountain than to break a thief in his heart."
learn to accept yourself and stop internal friction is the best way to live.
Liu Zongyuan has an article called Zhuan Zhuan.
craving is a bug that likes to recite things.
when crawling, no matter what you encounter, you will put it on your back until you are overwhelmed and fall to death.
many people do not live happily, just like the people who put too much pressure on themselves and fall into the strange circle of internal friction.
over time, the inner burden becomes heavier and heavier, and the pace of progress becomes slower and slower.
below I would like to give you a few suggestions to stop internal friction.
act now, don't hesitate
Japanese writer Matsuura Mitaro said
Guo: "the so-called predicament of life, but you are delusional and self-setting shackles."
in an American newspaper, there is an ordinary reporter, Jones.
one day when his boss asked him to interview Justice Brandes, Jones hastened to refuse, citing a lot of reasons for not going to the interview:
"No! He doesn't even know me!
I am just a nobody and inexperienced, and the other person may not see me....
maybe if someone else goes, it will be better than me. I'd rather not go. "
the boss glanced at her and dialed the other party's number:
"Hello, this is reporter Jones. I have been ordered to interview Judge Brandez. I wonder if he can see me for a few minutes today."
when Jones heard this, he said in horror, "he won't do it!" I can't interview him yet. "
at this moment, a voice came from the other end of the phone: "01:15, please be on time."
after hearing this, Jones stood still. He never thought of the things he had struggled and struggled with for a long time, and the other party agreed without thinking about it.
Life is not like cooking. You can't wait until all the ingredients are ready.
stop the difficulty
fear, put aside your obsession, take action, and you can overcome all internal friction.
live in the moment, don't think too much
when he was young, Zeng Guofan was extremely anxious and had serious mental internal friction.
in order to reduce his wishful thinking, he wrote down a sentence in his diary to warn himself:
"things come to adapt, the future is not welcome, the present is not miscellaneous, the past is not in love."
when it's time to read, study hard and don't think about seeing guests.
when it's time to meet the guests, concentrate on receiving the guests and don't think about reading.
Don't worry about gain or loss before it happens. If it happens, face it calmly.
keep exercising and don't overdraw your body
I have read such a sentence: "spiritual strength should be protected by physical strength."
when we have a healthy body, we have the ability to appease our spirit.
if your body is in a mess, it will only put a burden on your energy.
exercise helps you get rid of emotions and heal tired souls.
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there is an old saying: think of a thousand roads at night and walk the same way when you wake up in the morning.
the most painful thing in life is to hover between persistence and giving up.
A good life begins by stopping internal friction and doing something really valuable.
from today on, always remind yourself in the words of Zeng Guofan:
things come to adapt, the future is not welcome, the present is not miscellaneous, the past is not in love.
, share with your friends.