If you can restrain yourself, you can become yourself.
Guo Degang told a joke:
there was a fastidious knock on the door in the past.
knock first, stop for a moment, let the people inside hear you, and then knock twice in a row, no more than three times. This is a knock on the door.
when you come up, "knock". It's not knocking, it's smashing the door.
in the past, smashing the door was a sign of mourning, representing the dead. As long as it is not a declaration of mourning, it cannot be knocked in succession.
this is a rule laid down by our ancestors.
Han Feizi said: "everything has its rules."
if you want to be square, you have to set rules.
when there are rules, there is order, and only when there is order, there is harmony and stability.
rules are etiquette
there is such a clip in A Dream of Red Mansions:
Granny Liu went to Jia House, and Mother Jia took a large family to have dinner together.
among them, Li Wan and Wang Xifeng falsely set up seats to serve meals for the elders and the younger generation.
after the old people and children have finished eating, they will sit down for dinner.
after reading it, Grandma Liu sighed, "it's a gift to everyone."
this rule is not pedantic or feudal, but the etiquette of the Chinese people to respect the old and love the young.
the ancients said, "if you are polite, you will respect others."
observing etiquette is a kind of respect from the bottom of your heart.
without this etiquette, it is easy to lose dignity and awe.
after a long time, the family became a mess.
Ma Chao is a little carried away. When talking to Liu Bei, he always calls him by his first name.
Guan Zhang and Zhang were very angry and decided to educate him.
the next day, Liu Bei met with Ma Chao, and Guan Zhang stood beside Liu Bei with a weapon.
Ma Chao only took his seat. After sitting down, he found Guan Zhang standing beside him, and immediately understood.
since then, he has never been rude to Liu Bei.
Zhuge Liang said: "Don't be conceited, conceited is impolite, impolite, people leave, and people betray."
faux pas is a sign of arrogance. In a team, once someone disobeys the rules and does not manage, the hearts of the people will slowly break up.
gifts are the cheapest and most expensive things in the world.
if a person knows how to observe etiquette, he can understand humility; if a family knows how to observe etiquette, it can prosper; if a country knows how to observe etiquette, it can prosper.
rules are a kind of wisdom
the ancients said: "if you want to become round and follow its rules, you will do everything."
many things are often easily done as long as they follow the rules.
if there are no rules, it's easy to make a mess.
to learn to follow the rules is not pedantic, but precisely a kind of wisdom to do things.
Xu Jie, the first assistant of the Ming Dynasty, had invigilated the exam in Zhejiang, and two scholars quarreled in court in order to fight for the position of Gong students.
Xu Jie was absorbed in reading the papers, ignoring the two.
after a while, two more scholars quarreled in order to give way to Gong Sheng.
Xu Jie still ignored it.
after marking, Xu Jie called them all in front of them and said:
"I don't want anyone to contend for it, nor do I want anyone to give way.
it is clearly stated in the school rules that I have no right to change the number of places admitted on the basis of grades.
it would be nice for everyone to follow the rules. "
so the dispute over concessions was calmed down.
A lot of things are well-intentioned, but because there are no rules, they end up in a mess.
rule is a concise specification that gives you a clear guide to action.
by following the rules, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble and reduce a lot of unnecessary wear and tear.
so the more powerful people are, the more they know how to set rules and obey rules.
when Emperor Liu Xiu of Han Guang was a big Sima, his servant broke the law and was killed in accordance with the law.
who ever thought that Liu Xiu did not punish the sacrifice and obey, but also let him be in charge of the military law.
he said to his subordinates, "if you dare to kill even my servants, you must be careful."
it is precisely because of this that Liu Xiu's army can exercise strict discipline, increase its combat effectiveness in a straight line, and finally pacify the world.
writer Lemont said: "everything in the world must be in place according to certain rules and order."
only if one knows how to set rules and obey rules, one can be truly stable and far away and gain a foothold in the world.
rule is a kind of self-discipline
the ancients used to say, "be strict with yourself and be lenient with others."
rules are not only external constraints, but also internal self-examination.
only by turning external norms into inner laws, can a person restrain himself and perfect himself.
Ye Cunren, an official of the Qing Dynasty, who had been in politics for more than 30 years, was indifferent and frugal, and never took bribes and perverted the law.
when he left office, his colleagues came to give him gifts.
in order to avoid people's eyes and ears, it was specially delivered at night.
Ye Cunren saw this and returned the gift intact.
he said, "Don't be afraid of others and fear your own knowledge."
the reason for receiving gifts is not for fear that others will know, but because you can't get over it in your heart.
the ancients said, "do not deceive yourself on the inside and others on the outside."If the superior does not deceive the sky, the gentleman is careful to be alone. But the villain is on the contrary. "
A true gentleman does not deceive others, heaven or himself.
No matter what the circumstances, you can stick to the bottom line.
such a person, between pitching, can be worthy of heaven and earth.
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Xu Heng of the Yuan Dynasty once passed through Heyang on a hot summer day.
there are pear trees by the roadside, and everyone is scrambling to pick them.
only Xu Heng is unmoved.
when others asked him, he said, "it's not that you can't take your own things."
the man said, "the world is in such a mess and the pear tree has no owner. Why is it so pedantic?"
Xu Heng said, "does a pear tree have no master, nor does its own heart have a master?"
with his amazing self-discipline, Xu Heng became one of the most respected scholars in the Yuan Dynasty.
writer Wei Xiuying once said: "the top achievement comes from the brilliance of self-discipline."
only a person with a high degree of self-discipline can control his life.
you can only become yourself if you can restrain yourself.
only when one learns to restrain himself and abide by the rules can one finally achieve himself.
rules are a kind of character
Jin Yong once said: "A man is a man, the first is about character and heart, the second is about career, and the third is about literature and martial arts."
No matter how good a person is, he must have excellent character to make the bottom.
if the character fails, the stronger the ability, the deeper the harm.
at the time of Renzong in the Song Dynasty, Chen Zhizhong was prime minister.
his son-in-law came to him for a part-time job. He said, "the official position is not calligraphy and painting in the study. How can I give it to you casually?"
son-in-law and daughter grind hard, but Chen Chih-Chung never agreed.
many remonstrants at that time felt that Chen Zhizhong's level was not high, so they repeatedly advised Ren Zong to replace it.
Ren Zong said, "although others are smart, I can rest assured that Chen Zhizhong should behave himself and let him be prime minister."
I agree with a sentence on the Internet:
"A person's greatest ability is not talent, EQ, or ability, but character."
A person trusts you and leaves things to you with confidence, which is a very valuable personality charm.
wherever such people go, there are always people willing to lend a hand.
the road of life is naturally wide and smooth.
when Zhao Kuangyin, Taizu of the Song Dynasty, was a general in the later Zhou Dynasty, he asked Cao Bin, who was in charge of tea and wine beside the emperor, for imperial wine.
Cao Bin said, "this is public wine. I can't give it to you."
later, Zhao Kuangyin ascended the throne and became emperor and said to everyone, "among the officials around Shizong, Cao Bin is the most well-behaved."
and regard Cao Bin as his confidant.
he used Cao Bin to govern the army, and Cao Binjun Ji Yanming, who made great contributions to the unification war in the Northern Song Dynasty.
from a junior official in charge of tea and wine to a secret envoy in the Northern Song Dynasty.
Buffett, the god of stock, once said: "it doesn't matter whether you are strong or beautiful. No one cares about your grades. Only when you are reliable and reassuring, others will pay for you."
people with good conduct are more favored than smart people.
character is not only a person's pass, but also a person's hardest card.
I have heard such a story:
two monks went to the western sky to learn scriptures, and they were hungry and thirsty on the road.
encountered a stagnant water.
the stagnant water is muddy, and the Buddha once warned against drinking.
the first monk thought, "if you keep the precepts and people die of thirst, how can you get the True Sutra?"
so he picked up the water and drank it.
another monk thought, "I would rather die of thirst than break the precepts."
when the Buddha knew about it, he sighed and said, "the mind has precepts, and everything you see is Buddha."
with precepts and rules in mind, one can have something to do and something not to do.
this is a kind of respect, a kind of wisdom, a kind of self-discipline, a kind of character, but also a kind of supreme realm of life.
if there is something to do and something not to do, there will be great achievements.