The biggest internal friction of a person is not to let go of himself.
Internal friction is a struggle between a man and himself, and he consumes himself without waiting for others to do it.
in life, many people do not know that they are in a state of mental internal friction, but everyone has experienced the exhaustion of internal friction.
the most common mental internal friction in life, come and see how many you have won.
then, target internal friction and prescribe the crux of the problem. I believe you will get rid of the "shackles that do not exist" and feel more relaxed than ever before.
stubbornly thought that something bad would happen in life, and was anxious for a time
British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said:
"when I look back on all my troubles, I think of the story of an old man who said on his deathbed, 'there are too many troubles in my life, but most of the worries have never happened.'"
throughout our lives, we often worry about the unknown and always feel that something bad has happened.
there is such a profound story.
Belikov, the protagonist of the Man in the condom, always thinks that something will go wrong in life, so when he goes out, even in sunny weather, he will bring rain gear, shoe covers and a warm coat.
he often lives in his imaginary worries and finally dies in his worries.
an appropriate amount of anxiety can be used as a driving force to move forward, but frequent anxiety can only make you fall into an abyss of pain.
ponder over what other people think of you, for fear of estrangement
"did I just say the wrong thing?"
"Why does Ta have that expression?"
"is Ta mad at me?"
"is Ta annoying me?"
in the process of interacting with others, a person who often thinks like this will feel aggrieved in the middle of the night.
because of Ta, it always suppresses its true feelings to fulfill others.
consume your feelings, guess each other's thoughts, and recognize your own value with the performance of others.
after making a decision, I still wonder whether this is the best choice
Byte beat founder Zhang Yiming once delivered a speech saying:
"all negativity is caused by the accumulation of psychological time and the negation of the present.
anxiety, all fears are caused by excessive attention to the future. "
has signed a job and turned down other companies, but I'm still vaguely worried about whether I made the right choice.
I bought a house decoration in the mall, and on the way home, I felt that it was too expensive, and I didn't have the joy I just started.
is always too worried about whether today's choice will cause too much loss in the future.
A lot of energy is consumed in excessive anxiety and frustration.
I am afraid to say "no" to others, and I feel frightened when I think about it
writer Bi Shumin once said:
"refusal is a right, just as survival is a right."
it should be easy to exercise the right of refusal.
but some people find it difficult.
in the face of other people's requests, even if they feel embarrassed, they reluctantly agree.
because I get timid when I think that my refusal may cause boredom.
the stronger this idea is, the more harm it will do to yourself and the more serious the wear and tear on your life.
stubbornly want to achieve a goal, overly paranoid
the TV series "Little willing" let us know Tian Yulan, a paranoid mother.
in order to supervise the son's study without a dead corner, a fully transparent study is installed for the child.
once the son doesn't study hard, he loses his temper and doesn't allow his husband to put his beak on him.
Tian Yulan excessively forced her son to be admitted to a key high school, obsessed with this goal too much, not only let himself into pain, but also led to the child suffering from depression, the whole person depressed.
as a result, excessive paranoia is a poison that harms the body and mind. It not only fails to achieve the goal as soon as possible, but also prevents paranoid people from finding true happiness.
take on the responsibility that is not your own, and blame yourself too much
read an interesting cartoon:
Xiaohui went to do psychological counseling. In the process of communicating with the counselor, the counselor found that she was a "target" personality.
is to attribute mistakes that do not belong to you to yourself.
when the husband was looking after his son, the child had no intention of falling down, and she blamed herself for not going to see it herself.
when her colleague was scolded by the leader, she blamed herself for not reaching out in the first place.
I believe we all have similar feelings. Excessive self-remorse is a binding on the self. This kind of self-inflicted pain will cover up our own efforts and always feel that everything is wrong for its own reasons.
people with "target personality" often memorize responsibilities that have nothing to do with them in their hearts and allow themselves to blame themselves.
seriously doubt yourself, thinking that you will not be able to do what others tell you
there is a sentence in the Book of History:
"those who believe in themselves do not doubt others, and people also believe them. Those who doubt themselves do not trust others, and people also suspect them. "
when others tell themselves what they do, they are obviously capable, but they are always afraid of screwing up and are very timid.
even if I take the task next, in the process of doing it, I will ask myself again and again: can I really do it?
this lack of self-confidence not only fails to give full play to its 100% ability, but also greatly discounts the results.
this is a waste of one's own strength and a lack of self-knowledge.
regurgitate too much for the mistakes that have happened, and can't forgive yourself
Kazuo Inamori once said:
"it's pointless to always regret and worry about what has happened."
We can reflect on the mistakes we made because of ourselves, so that we won't repeat them later.
but thinking over and over again is a kind of excessive harm, and at the same time, it is not conducive to calmly thinking about the future.
the mistake that we have been regurgitating has long been ignored by others.
after all, I didn't let myself go.
finally, in the foregone mistake, the injury is too heavy and the exhaustion is exhausted.
deliberately suppress your negative emotions and never release
read a sentence on the Internet:
"never apologize for your true feelings."
many people are good at expressing their positive emotions and are always repressed by negative emotions.
worry about bringing bad influence to others, worry that it will bring trouble to others after venting.
under all kinds of worries, we are used to "reporting the good news but not the bad news" to everyone.
when you find someone, take out negative emotions and release them slowly.
but even if the repressed emotion is finally healed, it is also a kind of great harm.
dissatisfied with the status quo, I can't accept it in my heart, but I don't dare to change it
We often encounter the choice of "food is tasteless, but it's a pity to abandon it".
read readers on the Internet
@ do not wait
When you choose long skin tight prom gowns, it will make your look glittering and amazing. New trendy arrivals are on hot sale now!
she is a 32-year-old woman who works as a field salesman in the company.
to outsiders, this is an iron rice bowl, but only she knows that she does not feel the slightest interest in her post and is overwhelmed by indicators every week.
I dare not change because I am afraid of the unknown.
@ do not wait
while consuming in tasteless work, I get bored at the same time.
the environment that is not satisfied but does not leave actively will be like air, rolling over our unhappiness all the time, which is a kind of consumption that seeps into the bone marrow.
before the task is done, I have been anticipating all kinds of bad results
there is a pessimist who ponders over and over in his mind what bad results will come from the end of the matter.
first bring bad emotions to yourself, feel unwarranted pain, and consume the present for the future.
at dusk, time and brainpower are largely occupied and decomposed.
after the end of the brainstorm, there was no progress in the assigned tasks.
this state of doing things will make a person afraid to do things, put fear on himself in advance, extinguish the motivation to move forward, and get double the tiredness.
after making the plan, I have been procrastinating, but I can't feel at ease in my heart
We are good at listing plans, but we always procrastinate.
it is easy to write down a plan on paper, and there will be a lot of resistance to its implementation.
this matter is kept in mind until the goal is achieved, which is a kind of energy consumption.
because we will always think about this unfinished thing and make arrangements for it again and again in our minds.
We could have used our extra energy to do other things, but because of procrastination, things that were stranded became encumbrances.
in these 12 mental internal frictions, many people have found their own shadow.
the book Mr. Toad goes to see a psychiatrist says:
"No criticism is stronger than self-criticism, and no judge is harsher than ourselves."
physical tiredness can be made up for by rest, but mental tiredness requires greater mental effort to recover.
and the following five points can help us weaken mental internal friction and gain physical and mental freedom.
take immediate action on what you want to do, without hesitation
A book friend once spoke frankly about the pain caused by mental internal friction. He didn't do anything, but he felt extremely tired.
later she mitigated the problem by learning from her by putting ideas into action.
she once wanted to go to Wugong Mountain on a whim, but she still hesitated before she left, but in the end she decided to go.
after bumping along the road for a long time, I spent the whole afternoon and finally got to the foot of Wugong Mountain before dark.
although the journey is tiring, the joy brought to her by the trip is very real.
do it as soon as you think of it, which is very effective in solving mental internal friction.
action can make you consciously stop thinking, get rid of the burden as much as possible, and move forward light.
build a relationship with someone you can trust, and open yourself appropriately
"all people's motivation takes place in relationships, and we should try to open ourselves to the outside world."
A true story on the Internet:
A netizen is a person with serious internal friction. He has few friends and is always alone.
later, she bravely broke herself, opened her heart and made reliable friends.
the two hit it off, tolerate each other, and do a lot of wonderful things.
netizens began to become cheerful, the whole person presented a vigorous and upward.
trusted friends can increase sense of security in our lives and help us release and externalize our inner emotions.
with themIn the process of getting along, the pressure will be reduced, the mood will be broadened, and the mental friction will be reduced a lot.
face up to and accept who you really are
We always compare our own shortcomings with the strengths of others.
then, there is a gap in the heart.
do not realize that when you really know yourself and face yourself squarely, you will find that everyone has shortcomings and valuable points.
continue to maintain your strengths, and it's okay to be tolerant of your shortcomings.
relax, free, not because of their own good or bad, too much condemnation, tired of internal friction.
learn to "neutralize yourself"
to neutralize yourself is to adjust yourself flexibly and automatically counteract the too sharp part of your character.
for example, some people are cautious in everything and don't want to leave flaws in everything.
however, to pursue perfection too much is to get yourself into internal friction.
and some people are too careless and impulsive, so you might as well warn yourself to think twice before you act.
this kind of adjustment based on the real situation can effectively solve the internal friction.
it's just that the method that applies to others may not be suitable for you, so you need to find a way to match your own adjustment.
keep a healthy body
read this sentence in the book:
"mental strength should be protected by physical strength."
when we have a healthy and strong body, we have the ability to appease our spirit.
if your body is a mess, it will only put a burden on your energy.
with a good body, everything will get better and better.