I do not ask you to have the light of genius, only wish you peace and happiness all your life.
Wen, a college uncle
God for every stupid bird
all have prepared a dwarf branch
A young girl, Su Su, who just graduated from the University of political Science and Law, flew down from the unit's 21-story building and never woke up.
before making this decision, she sent her mother the last email:
"Mom and Dad, I've always wanted to be the kind of person you want me to be, but I can't be that kind of person." I am very tired, I have been living in a circle that does not belong to myself, and the excellence of others is used to highlight my stupidity.
I am so tired that I want to rest. Maybe I can find my kind in heaven.
not smart, but live happily. "
We do not know that behind the sentence "too tired" contains how many days and nights of suffering of the girl, but also bear how much unbearable weight of life.
just in addition to heartache and regret, this is undoubtedly a wake-up call for all parents.
it is reported that since Su Su was born, her mother, Liu Xun, has pinned all her hopes on her, always hoping that her daughter can get ahead.
but unfortunately, Su Su has been mediocre from an early age. Other people's children can run away, but she can't even walk steadily.
this makes Liu Jie, who has always been a university professor, particularly unwilling.
she tried every means, reliable and unreliable, to try on her daughter:
in order to make her daughter smarter, she forced Suzu to take health products every day, which eventually led to hormonal disorders.
when other children are playing, she forbids her daughter to go out and can only secretly complete learning tasks that are far more than she can bear.
try every possible means to find a relationship to get Su Su into the law firm, but she doesn't even consider whether her daughter can keep up with her progress. Even if her daughter complains to her, she will only blame her for not working hard enough.
under the high pressure of this environment, Su Su gradually becomes painful and negative.
she found that her ability could not keep up with the pace of the people around her, so she could only walk forward with difficulty. This time, she couldn't walk any more.
this makes us reflect:
what is it that this supposedly high-spirited girl can only meet the bleak and tragic fate?
there is no doubt that this is inseparable from parents' education.
they blindly ask their children with their own expectations, but forget that not all grass can become big trees. What's more, not every child with mediocre qualifications has to get a high score and stand on a platform where his ability can't be reached.
there is a Turkish proverb: God has prepared a dwarf branch for every stupid bird.
every bird has branches suitable for its own height, and smart birds have high branches, so stupid birds must find short branches to rest.
as a parent, if she is too eager to let her child climb a high branch that is difficult for her to reach, it will only make his child fall miserably.
you are so ordinary
Why does a child have to be perfect
I have heard such a sentence:
parents, even if they have already seen the world in their hearts, they can only see through life. Can treat their own children, always wishful thinking hope that their own children will be an exception in the world.
but we live such an ordinary life, why should we ask our children to be perfect?
the writer Wu Nianzhen once told a story about himself.
his son's math grades were so bad that the teacher wrote in his contact book with his parents: "Math grades should be strengthened!"
when the son came home, the wife scolded her face.
Wu Nianzhen hurriedly dragged his wife to the kitchen and asked, "were you good at math when you were at school?"
It is such a dream to be able to find just the right silver prom dresses for that special event. In every style, you can now choose your style.
the wife replied, "it sucks!"
Wu Nianzhen said, "I suck, too! I only got 10 points in the joint college entrance examination. "
then Wu Nianzhen and his wife talked about the issue seriously:
Don't embarrass the children if we can't do it ourselves.
in real life, however, the common fault of many parents is that they like to place their expectations and unwillingness on their children.
parents didn't have the conditions to learn piano at that time, so you must study hard.
Mom and Dad were not admitted to a famous school, so we will do whatever it takes to help you get in.
Mom and Dad didn't make it when they learned to dance, and they regret it, so you must stick to it.
is always wishful thinking of their own imagination of life, as well as unwilling to place their fate on the children.
at this time, your giving is not love, but hurt in the name of love.
Love is a guide, not a compulsion, let alone regardless of a child's talent.
every child has his own life, and the road is long and rugged. Parents should be lamplighters, not ruthless animal trainers.
your child will eventually be ordinary
the vast majority of people in this world are ordinary.
in the BBC documentary "Seven years of Life", 14 children from different backgrounds are recorded for 56 years.A long journey.
the children were only seven years old when they were first recorded. Facing a bright future, they all have gorgeous dreams:
for example, become a star, a baseball player, a pianist.
when these children reached the ages of 14, 28 and 42 until they were 63 now, they found that the reality was not as happy as they thought.
most of them, like you and me, struggle in ordinary positions and worry about all kinds of trifles in their ordinary lives.
video, the director asks everyone, "you regret that you didn't." Is it? " The answer he got was unanimous "no regrets".
56 years of records, if we finally come to a conclusion, it is probably that there is no standard answer to life, and ordinary life is also a kind of taste.
is like the line in the movie the Life of the abandoned Pine Nut:
who didn't think they would have a golden life when they were young? But what is cruel is that most of us will welcome an ordinary life.
sounds cruel, doesn't it? But that's the way life is:
90% of the people in this world are ordinary people, 9% can be small, and 1% can be big. Most of us are destined to be ordinary.
and if you live wishfully in those 1% fantasies and are unwilling to face your child's mediocrity, it will hurt both yourself and your child.
Let children become ordinary and happy people
so, how on earth should we deal with the ordinariness of our children?
I believe the following video can give you the answer:
many parents have experienced the above scenes.
looking at other people's children helplessly, they can count from 1 to 1000 at the age of 5 and draw lifelike pictures at the age of 8. On the contrary, what about your own child? I can't do anything but stand by and watch.
I believe that many parents will be very worried about this. But the father in the video demonstrates another method of education:
he happily dragged his child through the show, and then said:
"come on, come on, son! Go to the slide! "
for most parents, "hope for success" may be a subconscious desire hidden in the heart.
but the most precious quality is to learn to actively face the child's unexcellence, or even mediocrity.
as the saying goes, "Big trees have the growth method of big trees; small grass has the growth method of small grass." Most of the people in the world are grass. "
everyone wants to be first, but there is always only one.
everyone wants to be admitted to a famous university, but there are only a few famous universities.
is it true that those who do not get the first place are doomed to failure and gloom?
everyone wants to get applause, do not want to be applauded, but will eventually become ordinary people in the world of fireworks.
Colossus has heavenly troubles, and ants also have boundless happiness.
if you are healthy, if you are happy, and if you don't go against your will, it doesn't matter to be a kind and ordinary person.
so, my child, I do not ask you to have the light of genius, but may you be safe and happy all your life.
one book a week, no matter how busy it is, don't forget to recharge it.
Korean star, let endless busyness, find the comfort of Xanadu.
HanXingFM) meet a better self.
slow life, listen to Korean stars.