What really kills a relationship is not quarrel or deceit, but...
What really kills a relationship is not quarrel or deceit, but...
Face it calmly, ignore it, and be yourself.


"cold violence"

an uncle

cynicism, derogation, avoiding a spouse who quarrels head-on;

there are words in the words, keep up with the comparison, and are keen to sow discord among friends;

parents who use love to intimidate, control harshly and refuse to communicate and listen;

isolated, stabbed in the back, targeting your colleagues everywhere.

many people have experienced this in their lives, but they don't realize that you are in a state of cold violence.

Cold violence does not cause dominant scars, but it leaves psychological wounds that are difficult to heal.

once you fight back, the reaction is always "you think too much", "I have nothing against you", "how do you think of others like that".

the cruelest people are often the people around them.

if you are also suffering from cold violence at the moment, find the root cause of your violence with an uncle in Cold violence today.

I hope that after reading the article, you can stay away from cold violence, regain your enthusiasm for life, and lead a steaming life.


the cold and violent affection makes the future lose hope

Zhihu has a hot topic-can the harm of the original family be cured by time?

there are a variety of answers.

A high praise replied: lucky people use childhood to cure life, unfortunate people use life to cure childhood.

have seen such a real case.

A doctor once treated a middle school student with severe depression. The treatment didn't go well at first. The boy confronted fiercely and even tried to commit suicide.

after months of contact, the doctor finally found the root cause.

it turns out that from a very young age, every time a boy did something wrong, his mother put him in the bathroom, put out the lights, sometimes even all night, no matter how much he begged, his mother ignored him.

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later, the boy had nightmares every night, and over time, he began to fear the dark, twitched as soon as he lost the light, and eventually developed into depression.

the mother who learned the truth cried bitterly and said:

"I didn't want to hit him, and I didn't know what to do, so I had to put him in the bathroom. He's crying inside, and I'm crying outside. "

in the story, the boy is the victim of cold violence, and the culprit is his mother.

"although only the abused person feels the mental abuse, the harm is real."

as the writer Liuliu said, "you didn't hit the child with violence, but you used cold violence." Being beaten is only a temporary humiliation, while cold violence is a deterrent to children with fear, which will last for many years. "

many children encounter problems outside, but dare not talk to their parents when they get home.

A home that used to be a safe haven has become a "slaughterhouse of the mind" because of parents' violent behavior.

many people think that punishing children is just to discipline them, but they do not realize that for children, it is a psychological shadow that cannot be erased all their lives.

decades later, the wound in my heart healed, but it left a scar on my character.

at the slightest touch, the scabbed wound will still feel faint pain.

maybe your subconscious blurt out, "you are a child of no use", has extinguished the spark of life that the child originally had.

when you hurt a child, please remember to bend down in time and say sorry to the child.

for families with real love, parents know how to apologize to their children.


A cold and violent marriage hurts people to pieces

as the saying goes: beating is love, scolding is love, no fight, no scolding, no love.

how can a spoon not touch the edge of a pot when it comes to living between husband and wife?

but "when we are talking about domestic violence, there is a more covert form of violence, which is not as obvious as physical violence. It will only make the victims suffer unspeakably, blindly reviewing whether they have done anything wrong."

in the movie "No questions about the West and the East", Liu Shufen was exhausted by this bottomless abyss.

Xu Bochang's family was poor. Liu Shufen supported him in college at the cost of marriage, but Xu Bochang repented of his marriage after graduation. Liu Shufen forced Xu Bochang to marry her with a knife.

she tied up Xu Bochang's people with a paper of marriage papers, but never got his heart.

husband and wife have almost no communication, and even sleep in separate beds.

he had a clear division of everything in the house, and when the cup fell, he would rather drink water from a bowl than hers;

even if something happened to Liu Shufen's unit, he didn't say a word, let alone comfort.

he was so kind to everyone that he turned a blind eye to her.

just as Liu Shufen said:

outsiders only see how I beat you and scold you, but they don't know how you hit me. You hit me with your attitude! You make me feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

Xu Bochang was cold, like a sharp blade, which pierced Liu Shufen's heart.

this kind of life with bitterness and nowhere to say and tears has been going on for too long, and anyone will feel cold, right?

in the eyes of most people, if there is a hint of warmth in a marriage, there is a reason to persist.

if even that last hope is consumed, marriage will be hopeless.

the most terrible thing in the world is not to die alone, but to end up with the person who makes you lonely.

the rest of life is so long that two people who have nothing to say, how can they resist the influence of the years?

if there is love, please love deeply. There is no problem that cannot be solved by a hug and a kiss.

if you really miss it, it's good to get together and break up. Instead of torturing each other, it's better to wave goodbye.


Cold violence in the workplace makes people doubt life

A friend complained to me the other day:

the boss of the company promoted himself to a position with greater responsibility, but did not refer to the opinions of others in the same department.

after taking office, he found that his former colleagues were excluding him.

lunch is no longer invited, and everyone's matching degree is obviously declining at work.

this bothers him very much.

in fact, the workplace is sometimes more like a battlefield without gunpowder smoke, and it will become the target of public criticism if you are not careful.

in a survey, about 70% of white-collar workers said they had encountered or were experiencing cold violence in the workplace.

the boss's indifference to your work attitude, the exclusion and disdain of the old staff, the deliberate uncooperation of colleagues, gossiping behind your back.

it isolates us with unspeakable pressure, making people feel trapped in a cage when they go to work.

there is a plot in the movie the Queen in Prada:

over the weekend, Andy, the heroine, was having dinner with her father, who had come a long way from afar, when she received a call from her boss, Miranda, and the flight was cancelled due to heavy rain.

Miranda asked Andy to find a way to get her home on time and attend the children's concert.

although Andy tried his best, he finally failed to finish the task assigned by his boss.

Andy apologized nervously to Miranda when he returned to the company, but Miranda said mercilessly:

I was full of hope for you and thought you were different, but as a result, you let me down more than the girls who let me down in the past.

some people say that the workplace is a muddy water, and the water is a little deep.

in fact, whether it is a deep pool or a shoal, people in the workplace should learn to relax.

if you are a rookie, try to draw a blueprint for yourself, and one day you will control your ups and downs.

if you have experienced many battles, you might as well correct your mindset, keep a low profile and do what you are good at.

Cai Kangyong has a good saying: when we chew on others, we feel good, but when we are food, we have to eat.

the real winner lies not in having much ability, but in having a strong heart.

the rivers and lakes are sinister. If you can't change your heart, give up.

sincerely wish you to stay away from cold violence, and if you encounter misfortune, you can face it calmly, ignore it, and be yourself.

Interactive topic

talk about the books you want to read in the message area.

or what kind of cold violence have you experienced?

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send a copy of Cold violence by Mary Irigoyan,

if the darkness is too long,

May everyone be treated gently!